Reflections from the ‘Seen’ documentary Blog

My community have come together recently to view this wonderful documentary called SEEN.
We had some rich discussions afterwards and so I thought I would summarise some of our insights.

“Children need connection more than food.”

Our children are born very vulnerable, and so their whole orientation from birth is to connect with their primary caregivers. They instinctively know that their survival depends upon it.

So, when children sense we are not there in whatever form it gets expressed, they will adapt their behavior in order to reestablish connection – and so begins the laying down on imprints, or subconscious patterns that will influence how they perceive the world, and how they learn to be in the world.

No pressure, eh?

It is for this reason that how we were parented can lay the foundation for how we parent, and some of us need some re-parenting.

I worked out long ago that tips and tricks to get children to do what we want will only go so far.

We think parenting is about changing children’s behaviour, when really it is about changing our behaviour – growing ourselves up.

Children co-regulate, which means they take their cues from us.

I was often astounded that when I got the help I needed, and experienced a deep internal shift, my children would change also. (So would my husband!!)

That is the beauty of the brain and the sub-conscious – it can change, thank the creator for neuroplasticity!

The real power we have as parents is to allow our children to show us where our wounds are, and those parts of us that need repair and potentially healing.

They do this by pushing your buttons, bless them!

Lael Stone says, ‘Connection is always the answer.”

So true, connection to ourselves first, and the ability to notice our system, hold space for our own feelings, hold ourselves with deep compassion and resource our system – learning to self soothe or get the help we need.

Then connection to our children.

Finally connection to our family and community.

What are your own unguarded thoughts saying to you? That gives you an insight into what parts of you are driving your life in the moment.

What do you wish you heard when you were a child?

What support do you wish you had?

How is that playing out now for you as a parent?

These are the breadcrumbs that can guide us back to ourselves and doing the work of re-parenting, so you can show up as the parent you want to be

Transform Parenting, supports parents to do this through our Inner Guidance and Connection 10 week workshop.

For more – GO HERE

To apply for a position in one of our small workshops – GO HERE