The day I broke up with my phone
I set a challenge for my parents, to have a day without their phones.
Like all good leaders of a parenting Village, I felt it was important for me to do the same.
I must admit to having a little extra confidence in my performance for this challenge. I’m a lot older,
and I had a life before phones. I remember what it was like to have freedom, and not be at the demand of a little box that goes ping.
I set the day of Sunday – no work calls, it should be pretty easy.
This is what happened;
It was hard. I would estimate that I had about 30 thoughts of checking something on my phone.
Stimulus |
Result |
|
What should I wear today? Weather app |
I just chose without knowing what the weather would be – WOW |
| I went to a social gathering. Camera | No photos – at least not from my phone |
| Not sure if I remember where this place is? Google maps | I guessed and made it there using a distant memory |
| I want to listen to a podcast on the way. Podcast App | Fortunately, my car picked up my phone via blue tooth and I didn’t have to touch my phone |
| I wanted to check that my facebook post got released. Facebook | I resisted facebook for the whole day. No real loss there – my feed is full of ads, have lost interest anyway. |
| I wanted to ring my mum. Phone. | I decided to call her tomorrow instead |
| My neighbour invited me for a catch up after being away. Text | I found out at the end of the day, missed out on that little window. It will have to wait. |
| James wanted to hang out with his friends at the water hole – he would ring when he was ready to come home. Phone | Damn it! Now I am going to have to watch out for his call. This was the only time I broke the deal. |
| I’ll have a quick game on my phone. Solitaire. | Resisted that little time sucker! Read my novel instead. |
| James wanted me to check his bank account to see if he had enough money to buy pizza with his friends. Commbank App |
I reminded him of the challenge and said he would have to pay more attention to his spending. I really must get him his own profile. |
| WhatsApp messages – it’s the only one I allow to send notifications. WhatsApp | 37 by the end of the day – geepers what’s going on! |
| Reading my novel – thought it would be nice to have some background music. Spotify. | That would involve touching my phone – nup – going to have to enjoy the quiet. |
I cannot believe how many times I was prompted to get my phone. Imagine if it had been a workday.
I always thought I had good boundaries around my phone. I didn’t realise how I have created so many habits around its use.
The next day was like catch up day – I think I used it twice as much as I normally would.
This has left me wondering what the answer is to managing this device, rather than let it manage me. I came up with the following.
1. On an impulse to get my phone – Pause, and ask if there is another way to get that need met, does it need to be done now?
2. Put it away when I get home and have a quick look at the end of the evening to respond to anything that is urgent.
3. Respond to messages twice a day – lunch time and before dinner. Teach people that I am not a quick responder.
4. Delete all games, so that when I have time – just daydream instead!
5. Bedroom and dinner table – no phone zone.
This is a start, but I suspect it will be a work in progress. I have a 16-year-old son who is watching me clearly and has a keen eye for hypocrisy, so if I’m going to share these guidelines with him, I better be on my game.
Track yourself for a day, what did you notice?
What are your self-imposed rules?
Who’s the boss of your life? You or your phone?
Our children are watching, so get conscious dear ones.
Tracey
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Resource;
How to Break up with your Phone
Catherine Price
