Our birth experience wasn’t as we had prepared for. We’d been having extra monitoring and check-ups throughout the pregnancy, particularly in the final stages – we went in for what we thought would be a routine check up on the morning of a public holiday only to learn that the situation was no longer looking positive. Joshua was delivered by caesarean that afternoon. As you would appreciate, it was all very unexpected and a tremendous shock for us. It made for a very emotional time. A caesarean was of course a far cry from the birth that we had been preparing for as much as we could, and we were afforded very little opportunity to process or reframe the situation. Subsequently, we needed some time to process the actual events of the day and to basically “grieve” for the birth experience we didn’t have.

In the circumstances that faced us, we didn’t have the opportunity – at least in an obvious way – to draw upon the resources we had worked and built upon. But in a less obvious way our time in the course came into play. As we prepared ourselves in the couple of hours we had before the surgery we kept thinking back to a particular birth story you had told us about – the lady who desperately didn’t want a caesarean and was upset and agitated in the moments beforehand, until it was put to her whether she wanted her baby born into calm and love or into fear and stress. We focused on this, along with our breathing, to provide as much calm and love as we could to greet our little man. I am sure we will always have some sense of grief and loss surrounding our birth experience, but we also believe that the journey the three of us took on that day was the journey we were meant to have on that day and on that occasion.  And as I sit here with our little man nestled cozily in my shoulder in such peaceful slumber, I nevertheless feel privileged and lucky that he is happy and healthy and ours to love. We are now focusing on the positives and the future – loving Joshua as much and best we can, and being the best parents we can!

We’ve delighted in the last few weeks of parenthood – figuring it all out and which way is up! We enjoyed our course with you and the subsequent practice we did. While we are hopeful to draw upon the skills in a more direct and obvious way next time, we nevertheless wanted to let you know the way in which we were able to draw upon what we had learnt to prepare ourselves as best as possible for an unpredictable and unexpected situation. Thank you!

Best wishes,

Lisa and Kym

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