Phoebe decides to have a homebirth late in her first pregnancy. She experiences a long labour, a transfer to hospital and then unable to have her midwives with her because of Covid. She has her second baby at home, and then needs to transfer after the birth to get some medical support. Phoebe reflects on both experiences and what made all the difference when adapting to the changes. She shares with us how motherhood has changed her – and her need to control. Such wisdom and insight into how birth and motherhood change us forever.